Dear Andy, Navigating the shark infested waters of an “open relationship” is an interesting process and is to be approached with much in-trepidation.
Most polygamous folks that I have spoken to are quite open with the people they are with regarding their needs in this kind of relationship. I would be questioning why, after three years, this is suddenly an option, when you both obviously started out as monogamous? Is there something beneath the surface of the relationship that you both need to be looking at?
Emotionally: you need to ask yourself “what do I want from this relationship.” If a polygamous relationship is not for you, then you need to make a decision about whether staying in this relationship is for you.
Knowing that your partner is off with someone else is a HUGE emotional roller-coaster — and you need to ask yourself whether you are able to cope with that kind of pressure.
Physically: when entering this kind of relationship you need to establish some rules that are non negotiable. Things like safe sex practices, whether you would want someone in your home, whether you want to know about it, or whether there is an agreement that your partner can be with someone more than one time. I mean there would be nothing worse than having a partner come home bragging about the shag they just had with someone else whilst you’re being the “little woman” at home!
My advice is that as long as you are honest with yourself about the things that you need from this relationship you can’t go wrong!
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