Since the glorious and long-overdue passing of same-sex marriage into Australian law last year (after enduring that ridiculously invasive and expensive political circle jerk otherwise known as the postal plebiscite), I have found myself increasingly asked one niggling question from my hetero friends, “So… are you going to get married now?”
Since the glorious and long-overdue passing of same-sex marriage into Australian law last year (after enduring that ridiculously invasive and expensive political circle jerk otherwise known as the postal plebiscite), I have found myself increasingly asked one niggling question from my hetero friends, “So… are you going to get married now?”
I am never quite sure how to respond.
At 24 years of age, I consider myself far too young (not to mention far too single, unsorted, financially insecure, et cetera, et cetera…) to be thinking beyond where I’ll go drinking Friday night or which second-rate Netflix series to binge next. But lately I’ve been contemplating marriage and whether or not I see it happening for me somewhere down the track.
Having been lucky enough to grow up in a relatively liberal and accepting country, I’ve pretty much always had the belief that same-sex marriage in Australia was inevitably going to happen, it was just a matter of when. So in the back of my mind, I guess I’ve always thought that some day I would marry the man of my dreams (*cough* Tyler Hoechlin, pictured).
But do I think I ever will, considering it is now a 100% legal reality?
The rainbow flag-wielding anarchist in me is tempted to say no. After all, the institution of marriage is rooted in the traditional patriarchal structures that have for centuries reinforced the heterosexual status quo and actively rejected queer lifestyles. Isn’t the great thing about the queer community the fact that we can, in a sense, make our own rules? Not to mention that a loving relationship can be perfectly valid without a piece of paper, and the minor fact that around 40-50% of marriages in the western world end in divorce anyway.
Gay marriage is not about two people being gay: it’s about two people who love each other and who have decided to commit to each other for the exact same reasons any other couple would get married. Luke Macfarlane — Canadian actor and musician
That being said, the hopeless romantic in me sees things differently. My own parents have been (mostly) happily married for 27 years, and my grandparents for over half a century — and neither seems to be untying the knot any time soon. So it’s fair to say I have positive marriages in my family to aspire to. Also, the majority of my close mates still have married parents, and I think they are better off for it. During high school a few of my friends had their parents’ divorces to deal with, and I couldn’t help but notice it having negative affects on them during an already tough stage of life. So from my own experiences, kids are better off when their married parents stay married.
Therefore I guess my decision to ‘get hitched’ or not would all depend on whether I some day wanted to raise kids with a long-term partner. But that’s a question for another time! So for now, I’m going to be a fence sitter here and say I have no idea if I will get married in the future. But just like my straight peers, I have the choice — and that’s all that really matters.
Photo top: American actor and heartthrob Tyler Hoechlin plays Superman in the television series Supergirl.
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